BROKEN UP INSIDE

2007-06-17T01:28:00.000+08:00

2007-06-17T01:26:00.000+08:00

A fragrant memory is soon to fade
We lived a love of make-believe, dreams and fairytales
Now we say goodbye, habitual romance
A rose without her petals and a song without a dance

even without petals,
this rose strives for the better.
for all that she deserves.
and for all that is worth.
goodbye her once lover.
=)

2007-06-15T13:24:00.000+08:00

just got back from school
has been super duper lazy to blog hahas =)
oh well,
went to play bball yesterday at night with, eric thomas caihuang shirong and youyi.
damn LONG nv play with u all already can !! haha
i miss you all.
hmmm couldnt wake up today,
rush to school for GP.
miss lee's last lesson.
oh my.,. we'll miss you la..
had a mini farewell celebration for her,
she gave us chocolates and cards.
damn sweet.
yeap. hmmm
though she is inexperience, but we really enjoy the days with her la. hmmm.

yeap. thats about it? hmmm.
got to buck up already.
ANG SIOW THIEN, !!!

Don't ever give up if you still want to try,
Don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go

2007-06-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

I won't be lost
Next time you see me
My pain will be gone
Baby believe me I been trying
But my heart keeps on breaking
I won't be lost

tiring day?
alright i think.
after school, went to study with adel jian ming and eric.
and then back home.

tomorrow,
actually i intend to play bball in school.
because someone would be there,
but somehow, fate less?
haha got training.
anw, maybe thats always better than awkward silence?

when it was you, i know what i want
so clear.
after you, i dont know what i want
so mixed up, so unclear.

2007-06-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

alright, was way too lazy to blog yesterday.
hmmm. played against NYJC =))
jiayou for all the next matches =)
after match, went to play ball at gombak with adel, eric and jian ming =))
oh ya. HAPPY SHOOT ?! haha
hmmm went home after that.

school today, damn tragic.
leg pain. hahas.
went home after school.
hmmm
and out again.
oh well,. im at adel's house now..
tragic la.. hahas
damn FUNNY LA.
one malay boy was hiding in the lift,
i dint saw it la..
i thought i saw GHOST can! so black somemore,
then he ran out of the lift.
FCUK la, i got a shock and screamed.
haha the best part was, he dont care despite my screaming, and ran away =.=
ren xia ren xia si ren !!!!

hmmm.
my temper, they got from bad to worst?
tragedy.
MUST CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

i miss my eyecandy =p
i dont care, you must miss me too =).

-i dont care if you dont seem to.-
-disappointments, was all that i ever got from you-
-the girl, has been gone so far, though memories still lingers-
-i want that blood red roses stained with all the blood red tears-

2007-06-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

2007-06-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what i was trying to do

met julia to study this morning,
damn tragic.
im super tired la.. haha =)
hmm after that went for training.
injured my ankle lol.
on my way home, i saw BRENDA =)
wee, that panda of mine. haha
went to look for bin pei with bren,
chatted,
then janet called haha..
so went to yishun and play pool together..
haha I MISS THEM MANY MANY. hmmm.

and now im home.
have to do my pw later.
no sleep again.
damn tragic la..
well anyway.
im going ALJUNIED tomorrow.
hmm hope i can see my eyecandy.
haha.
hope i get to play too.

its seem that you are avoiding.
whats the use?
or maybe im too paranoid. haha =)

-ai cuo, yao dong de fang shou-
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

2007-06-09T06:19:00.000+08:00

finally im back home.
from town, with adel and kelly.
oh well, but before i continue my topic on that,
i didnt went to school on friday.
hmmm overslept.
i slept all the way till 12.15pm, then, rot till 2pm,
hahas.
hmm after that met adel at 5, went to play ball at woodlands,
then,
went home to get change and met up with kelly at eleven plus.
went to alley bar first, had apple martini there.
damn nice,=), bitched abit. hmmm,
after that we went to the balcony.
hahas, hmm had bad melon there.
not bad either.
oh well,
slack and chatted till 4 plus,
cabbed back to yishun,
ate at mac.
and now im HOME.

weee.
i miss my eyecandy.
haha u seem to care abit more =).

my heart ache still.
i can still see blood flowing.
i can feel myself tearing.
yet, coldness was all that i can feel.

-off to bed-

2007-06-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

2007-06-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

alright.
hmm went to cpcc after school today.
played ball
completed gp.
yeap.
hmmm. played till 8 plus,
then went to mac and slack. hmmm.
whoa...cass adel and me ate alot alot.
nuggets and macwings meal.. wahhhh
unbelievable can. hmm
oh well, saw this group of adults making balloons.
twisted them into shape.
and they gave us a number of it.
wee.
elmo, teddy, flower, pink panther, heart. =))
loves. its damn cute la =))

i know all that i ever wanted was you =) <3

2007-06-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

okay.
was super duper tired yest.
so didnt bother to blog =p.
went to play bball after school yest,
went home at 8 plus.
yeap.

hmmm,as for today,
had lesson till 3.
hmmm, julia bought me STRAWBERRIES. yum yum
i love you many many,=)
played bball awhile.
then headed to bk to study.
and then im back home.

oh well, shun julia and kel, u all damn bad la
all look at me when u all saw xj walk pass,
the best part was, you all burst into LAUGHTER !!!!.
tragic la =)

my eyecandy..
like i said,
its not love, its a special type of feeling,
more than an eyecandy perharps?
but its just special.
i nv had it before,
but its not love.
i dont know how to explain things,
but you make me wanna know you even deeper,
and im not that innocent girl that u might think,
my looks are, but my character aint.
due to the environment im brought up in,
i got no choice but to be more than how i look.
get it?.
and i dont promise things =)

-memories are what that keep me going.-

2007-06-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

oh well.
hmmm school was kind of boring? hmm
fell asleep during math.
had a hard time trying to stay awake during chem.
ohh la la. hmm
and now im home.
so damn early. cause i got so much work undone.
hmmm
so many things, so little time =(

oh ya.. kinda weird when i saw you in school.
hmm hmmm.
natural reaction?
u never even say hi. hmm.
oh well.
why should i even bother? hmmm
but. hahas
contradict eh

wee, my eyecandy coming back today.
hmmm haha =)
<3

pig, i did take my meals on time okay? hmm.. and i bear to kill YOU. =)

-maybe thats the best ending-

2007-06-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

the thought of SCHOOL tomorrow just woke me up from my fairytale la =(
the thought of ECON test tomorrow killed me even further.
hahas

oh well,
hmmm, went to find ah ma in the afternoon.
weee. i miss you la=)
after that at about 6 i went down to cpcc to play ball.
hmmmm.
and now im back home..

oh ya,
hmmm, maybe i really dont know what i exactly wanted well.
hmm i should go and think about it,
but one thing im sure is, i dont want that ambigouity anymore, though i'll still think of it la, i admit we are from two different world. =)
i gave you chances to hold me back,
but you didnt, and now im REALLY gone.
and im just your friend from now on..=)

wee, one more day to the return of my eyecandy =))
and im so so happy.
im going crazy.
hmmm hmmm.

oh ya, someone so good eh, listen to me. hahas stupid PIG !!! =)

-when it all comes, which way should i go?-
-a new chapter with that closure of the unwritten fairytale.-

2007-06-03T00:01:00.001+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

im feeling so down now.
right now.
i dont know why
i feel like tearing.

2007-06-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

maybe just maybe,

i have no one to lean on afterall.

so sorry.

2007-06-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

oh welll
went on a studying spree at cafe cartel with shun and julia.
damn funny la =)
had bread buffet haha =))
and damn funny things happen eh? haha
oh well, and martin is a JOKER =)) haha

hmmm i miss my eyecandy eh.
hahas.
hmmm monday monday.
i really hope to go out with you eh.
hmm =))
i dont know why its getting stronger each day.
=)

oh welll, hmmm
hmmm i guess its just a random post eh
anw, im happy for adeline. haha =)
weee,
hmm hmmm hmmm.

i guess ive misunderstand you eh
hmmm why didnt you clear things out with me?
or maybe you cant be bothered?
hmmm hmm.
your coldness, im used to it.
bidding this last bit , goodbye.

and MARTIN IS MY BROTHER FOREVER =))

-i need GOD's miracles to get close to you-

2007-06-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

alright.. played ball just now at kovan eh
hmmm
play till 9 plus.
hmm and went back home =)

oh well.
i havent touched any shit of my econs la
damn. hmmm

my mood is like a rollercoaster ride la
come on xiao tian !!!
control your attitude PLEASE =)
well, thanks to those who always tolerate.
such as mad, qiao, adel, shun =))
big thanks.

someone is enjoying in KL now.
well.
i so miss you la =)
wee. you messaged me at 6 plus this morning.
damn cute can !!
ask me not to miss you.
haha i DONT care. i want to miss you.
hahas.
and YOU MUST THINK OF ME. =)
take care ar.

-without you, im still so fine, and so i realise its the same to you,
and i wonder why should i even BOTHER.-

2007-06-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

well.
met adel at 12.30
went to study till like 5 plus.
played bball at woodlands
till around 10.
then had dinner
and now home sweet home. hahas

hmm
someone gg kl this morning already. sigh
haha back on monday
take care eh?
and must miss me
cause i'll miss you,
and you sounded as if so worked up
in your blog
cool down.
haha =)

you made me realise
maybe i should go.
but do you have to end things in this manner?
sigh.

2007-05-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

hmm yesterday was quite a fun day eh?
hahas.
went to sentosa with kelly jiawan and adel.
played volleyball, get tanned though not very obvious.
chit chatting. hahas =))
hmmm best of all, camwhoring =D
went back at 5 plus eh.
hmm walk around at vivo.
then back to yishun
went to 111 to play ball.
then home sweet home.

oh ya.. was too tired to blog la.
slept at like 12 plus
and woke up like just only la =).

hmmm and im meeting adel later
study and balling =))

since i cant even ask you a simple question
i guess thats it right?
u never know how disappointed i feel.
but maybe through your replies
i know
i know,
i have to go.
and the feeling wasnt deep afterall.

someone dont wanna play ball today
say he wanna slp.
lol PIG eh.
but well, i understand la.
hmm take care eh?
hmmm must miss me,
of not life is a tragdey for me eh.
hahas.
and i miss you. my eyecandy =)

arghhh.. running nose again,

-thats it, no more.-

2007-05-31T00:41:00.000+08:00

2007-05-30T01:11:00.000+08:00

But everytime I try to make you smile
You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself
Everytime I try to make you laugh
You stand like a stone
Alone in your zone
Is it too much that I'm asking for?

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you

-when two hearts collides.still theres no spark only tears flowing from the painful heart.
so broken to pieces, so painful those tears drop.
as if knifes pricking through
as if someone stabbed to death,
still there isnt any ending
or rather any beginning-

2007-05-30T00:46:00.000+08:00

went to study with julia at civic mac this morning.
adel and jm joined us later.
lol.
full of laughters eh?
had a damn damn good laugh la..
all thanks to julia =)
im contented to have such friends with me =)
oh my and on my way to foodcourt
i saw fang ru!!!
i was damn happy la.
i miss her like so much la.
hahas

well, tmr outing,
so not excited,
somehow, i seem troubled.
my temper, they get from bad to worst.
this effing sucks la.
my mood swing they are like roller coaster ride.
if this continues,
i dont even know what would i become.
damn it.
i have the sudden urge to curse and swear now,
as much as i feel like crying,
i feel pressurize,
i feel so eff-ed up.

oOKAY, somethings are worth to be rejoiced.
my eyecandy coming back from camp tmr. haha
so happy la =)
i miss you like madd? hahas

i dont know why,
still i message you,
still something i hope.
maybe its so clear
i know what i want.
but,
i have never been unable to get things i want
since young,
i got my ways,
but you are so different
i dont even know how to react.
its like sudden heartbreaks.
oh well, what the hell am i talking.
but thats what im feeling.
messed up.
everytime you dint reply
my heart broke,
tried to smile,
yet as if i tried too hard.
i miss your care
i miss so many things
were i the one who let things go first or are you the one?
do you still read this blog and tries to understand how i feel
like you used to?
or im just yet another her to you?.
my STUPID BOY.

i agreed im paranoid
neither do i bear any grudges against you or anything.
i appreciate your understanding =)
i hope things do go well for you.
and its the end of the "blog-talk"

i need someone here right now,
i wanted so much for you.
i dont know why words are affecting me
i dont know why i tried so hard to act as if im strong.
somehow i wish you understand.
somehow i wish you to be out of my mind.

contradicting aint i?
one at one moment.
but who cares =)

-when things get so out of hand, leave it and move on-

2007-05-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

well.
meet adel at amk hub,
walk around,
ate mushroom, and chicken,
cass came =)
then shun came =)
after that acc cass find her monkey =p.
then went to mos.
after that went to teck ghee cc,
wanted to play ball. but well, they having fuction there,
so shared cab back to cpcc.
hmm fell asleep on the way back.
damm tired.

sorry peeps if i cause trouble to you all. =)
i'll learn from the mistakes i made.
sorry. =)
adel, take care of your ankle please =)

im not quite sure if someone was referring to me in her blog.
but oh well,
kind of obvious eh?
hahas STUPID people loves to do redundant stuffs eh?
and well, i dont need you to ask him to clear things out with me
we are clear of what is going on.
thanks FOR your good intention eh?

im sorry of my mood-swing today.
thanks for putting up.
sorry.

-its affecting me, and i dont know how-

i miss you. my no 6 =)

2007-05-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

hmm just finish eating my pear. yum yum.
okay.
match againist HONG KAH.
lost by 4 pts.
as i expected, dint get to play
but still learn from the game eh? ahas
hmm after that
went to woodlands to play ball.
play till like hmmm. ten plus then took train back,

cheer up TECK GHEE ballers!!!
lets jia you jia you. haha =)
adel, dont blame yourself alright?
loves you.
and happy happy just now? hahas =D

oh my i miss my eyecandy.
he's away. sighh
i wanna watch potc with YOU YOU, hahas. =)).

like so finally, you replied eh?
oh well nth to say to you either.
so be it?
we shall be.
hahas =)
take care. past tense?.

-what would a crush lead to-haha

2007-05-27T00:42:00.001+08:00

everyone has someone to love?
do i have one to?
maybe yes,
but why i always love the wrong one?.
and end up in pain?.
super dumb eh?
super lousy eh?.
not good enough?
vulgar eh?
oh well.
maybe i dont worth any love?
haa.

and bloody hell,
who can understand how i feel.

2007-05-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

as for today,
hmm what did i do??
met up with some people from my class
to do project work and have breakfast.
after that went to amk hub for pool.
well,
then met adel for training at teck ghee.

wasnt training exactly, but five on five play la.
well. lots of mistakes made.
sighh sighh,
i know tmr sure wont get to play,
but nvm its a good start and experience for me even if it was just seeing other people play eh?
i want to brush up everything,
ADEL, I NEED YOUR HELP !!!.
ive really started balling like this year only,
though there is improvement BUT i wanna be better.
help me my crazy adel !! =)

after training went for dinner, then to cpcc for balling,
and now, HOME SWEET HOME.
=)

im all about my eyecandy, =)

okay, was feeling kinda of emo eh?
why do BESTFRIENDS quarrel,
and why cant some people understand certain things,
look from another perspective.?.
well. never mind. ill shall STAY neutral.
oh yes,
good eh you?.
as though i no longer exist eh?
well, it hurts but oh well.
i wanted to call you so MUCH la.
but who knows you might just HECK CARE the call.
well anyway.
there i go.
sha la la ~~
can i say i still kind of miss you?.
the days we talk on phone?
the days we hang out together?
when all was unclear?.
oh well, i know I CANT,
so haha. friends forever eh.

-facade, try so hard to be, yet seen through me-

2007-05-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

oh well.
wasnt able to use the com yesterday.
all thanks to my bro eh. hahas

anyway, i went to watch a div finals yest.
for the girls, VJC won.
for the boys, HCI won.
anyway, for the girl's match, it was a tough one.
hmm RJC is strong and fast in their denfence. =).
for the boy's, although victory was kind of obvious. BUT GOOD PLAY IJC =)
good play JIN LONG =) you really played well.

hmm ANYWAY !!!!
he was there YESTERDAY.
OH MY GOD.
well. hahas.
i miss him la.
he'll be away for camp and kl trip.
sigh. MY EYECANDY =).
i wanna watch POTC with YOU YOU YOU !!!.
will you? hahas.

im crazy over my eyecandy eh <3.

after watching match, me and adel went to town.
walk walk around.
lol. and EFFF la.
i couldnt find the WALLET i want
DAMN IT,
i want BLACK one,
all the colours available except BLACK.
sigh,
why ar. always like that one,
sigh.

-my life is a tragedy when you dont miss me =)-

2007-05-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

hmm.
met adel in the morning
and we STUDY.
as in really. haha
ate damn sinful stuffs.
OH MY FROM TMR ON, IM NOT EATING DINNER.
I DONT CARE !!!.
i dont wanna be baba.
suck la..

oh ya, and i realised im so VULGAR now la.
sigh.
and sometimes kind of hot tempered too.
oh my oh my.

i miss my EYECANDY =)

2007-05-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

went to queensway today.
was super tired.
so look kind of blur? hahas and maybe lifeless?
well acc julia to get her shoes.
yeap,
then went to julia house with shun
played bball.
meet mum at northpoint after that.
oh ya and my voice is still not back yet,.
sigh

i feel like calling you,
feel like messaging you too.
but. i shouldnt right?
i dont know why
im still hoping for your message
kind of stupid eh?.
well i know.
im sorry.

because when you look back.
the pain becomes memories
a lesson to be learnt.
questions wanted to be asked
become silence.
buried deep within.
just do you ever like me before,
or am i just another girl.
maybe all so along,
i was nothing special.
and now, i stop hoping.
when all the hopes seem to be vanishing.

-the one by your side might not always be the one you love-
-the one you love often seem so near yet so far-

2007-05-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

fine.
went to woodland this morning
oh ya, IVE COLLECTED MY PIG FACE =)
hhahas.
hmmm with adel and sophie.
have pizza hut for lunch
then watched 200 pounds beauty.
damn nice la.
touching scenes, tears drop. haha
happy scenes, lots of noise made =.=
hahas.
after that went to do abit of work,
then home sweet home.

the fairytale end
an angel without soul.

2007-05-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

alright. im waiting for adel to reach my house =)
study ang siow thien !!!
well, played ball till eight plus,
super tired.
ankle kind of pain.
well, hahas
ohh someone as me take care and drink more water eh? thanks ar
you also take care cause u having flu haha.my eyecandy =)

well.
well.
your nick: YOU RATHER BE ALL ALONE?
well then,
i shall leave u alone =)
and friends shall we be,
no more stupid boy, no more crazy girl.
thanks for all your care.
thanks for everything
i really treasure them
but this is kind of the best way out right?
well. hmm shall keep this ambigouity as my memories?
take care my stupid boy,.
and treat that i say nothing, NOTHING AT ALL.

hmm adel REACH ALREADY !!! haha =)

-but somehow it lingers. goodbye my once stupid boy-

2007-05-21T13:33:00.000+08:00

im at adel house now !!!
going to play ball at CPCC later. haha
went to sch just now,
played bball with der, shun and eddie
oh ya.
and i saw him.
hmmm invisible coldness eh?

had emo talk with adel yest night.
maybe you were right.
hahas.
but oh well, im afraid. really.

the very first thing when i woke up,
i wanted to see ur message
but well. u didnt reply.
saw you in school.
neither did u come and talk to me.
still i hope you would message me.
yet it didnt happen.
well. again and again.
do things have to turn out this way?
and well i seriously dont understand why some people
wants other people to convey the messages for them
and why cant they get the whole picture first before jumping into conclusion.

'still, whose shoulders can i cry on, who can show me what real love can do'
p.s. I MISS MY SIX SIX SIX. =)

2007-05-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

okay.
went to amk hub with mummy and aunts.
walked around,
messaging someone =)
wee.
ur msg do make me SMILE
though im insignificant to you. haha =)

after walking around, i went off first,
cabbed to cpcc to meet adel and friends
played bball.
so long nv play outside already
really miss that type of feeling haha ~
play till 9 plus,
went to 110 to have dinner.
walked back home.

i guess, when its night time,
my mood would be down.
i'll start to think abt things you said.
but still, tears didnt drop,
though on the brink.
i dont ever wanna seem weak to you perharp?
if you are gonna be happier this way,
with this ambigouity ending,
then good bye my boy.
you are being so obvious la.
everytime i said, i miss you,
u would just remain silent.
broken.
but stupid boy,
i thank you for your care,
and ill appreciate if everything was said.

ps: to someone if you happen to pass by.
hmmm. i shall make it clear here.
No one likes ambigouity,
its the slowest form of sucicide in love.
there is nothing that happen.
and i apologised if this were to worsen the friendship between u and him.
he would rather not make a decision, cause you are his friend.
who would want to hurt their friends?
he aint no director, he's just being him,
thats the way he choose to handle these things.
he doesnt even have that intention to hurt you.
im not afraid if things were to be found out.
cause i know what is going on, and we are clear.
and isnt it clear when it was said that he wouldnt like you cause you are his friend?
dont blame him.
dont even hate him.
please.
and maybe i owe u an apology too.

-take care my stupid boy, it might just be the last time.-

2007-05-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAINE AND FELLICIA =)

ARGHHH, I GOT NO MORE VOICE !!!
sigh, must be due to the straining of my voice yest.
and my cough is NOT getting anywhere better.

okay, went out with shun, adel and sophie today.
went to BUGIS.
slack around.
had pastamania for lunch.
no CHILLI for me. oh well. TRAGIC.
crapped.
hahas

after that me and sophie went to MARINA SQUARE.
okay, and im freaking sad.
THE WALLET I WANTED IS SOLD OUT !!!!
sigh.
i almost stopped breathing for that second la.
well, that isnt bad la,
the ADIDAS shirt that i want, DONT have my size.
and the topshop tube too.
what the hell man. !!!
maybe its is all predestined that i should not spend money today..
but still, I WANT THAT WALLET BADLY !!!!!
argh.

okay, camwhored on the way back.
oh ya and i miss my eyecandy eh? hahas.

`p.s. I WANT YOU TO SAY ALL YOUR PIECE'

2007-05-20T00:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VJ NO 6 yesterday. =)

yest had interhouse BASKETBALL.
was quite pissed while playing with seletar.
but oh well,
its over so yeap.
hmm, had fun playing with CANBERRA =) and its so obvious how both team tact against someone eh?
well. damn bad, but haas =p.

oh ya and i LOSE half of my voice.
everyone was shocked to hear me la.
hahas well. but still i shout alot and sing,
hahas. everyone is being irritated and i continue to make noise =p. hahas

after interhouse, had bbq, thanks to coach, mr wong and miss goh =).
played bball during bbq too.
TRAGIC !!! benjamin and i knocked onto each other and his jaw is painful, my head is also painful.there a SCAR on my head and its swollen. =.=
sorry BEN, hahas. take care eh.
was kind of emo.
i guess it was mood swing.
but oh well.thanks shun for listening to me eh?
though u still see my tears.
im just afraid, i'll regret.
and , dont worry your BI will be FINE =).

walked home with willy after bbq.
and yeap. so thats it.

'because i know, the string is being snapped,
and now im on the ground.
bidding this ambigouity goodbye.
are you doing the same?
or maybe just to you, this ambigouity never exists?
would you finally tell me all that was on your mind?
for the last time, before all ends?'

2007-05-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

2007-05-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

this were all the cards made for the graduating seniors.
take care people.
and we do miss you.
the training times, the days we cheered for each other,
the days we had dinner after training,
the joy, the laughters, the bitchings, the every little thing.
all the best.
we love you.

2007-05-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

unspoken words, fallen tears
you just cant understand.

fine.
interhouse netball today,
but i dint play
and im glad that i dint play la =)
ADEL,YOU KNOW WHY LA =)) hahas
played basketball.
oh my and thanks ar xj and eddie
haha now my leg got BIG BLUE BLACK =)
hahas.

went the see doc.
got forced by my brother.
anyway,
damn angry la !!!
my mum scolded me cause i see a DOCTOR !!!
WHAT A NICE UNREASONABLE SCOLDING EH?
AND MAKE IT CLEAR, IM NOT USING YOUR MONEY TO SEE THE DOCTOR OKAY??
and please STOP SCOLDING ME !!!!
IM OLD ENOUGH TO DECIDE WHICH AND WHEN I WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR.
sigh

its so obvious,
we are drifting even further
this ambigouity, no more?
well, i think so
dont you?
its that the best way out?
are you still my crazy boy?

-when this decision is made, ill nv return again-

2007-05-15T17:41:00.000+08:00

2007-05-15T10:30:00.000+08:00

2007-05-15T10:11:00.000+08:00

im in school now =p
pon my econs lecture.
ANG SIOW THIEN. STOP SKIPPING ECONS~~
oh man but i seriously have no mood for classes.
its gonna be holiday SOON,
yes babe. =)
but sigh got to study for BLOCK TEST STILL !!!! hahas
oh man, and i found my no6 FRIENDSTER !!! =))
anyway, im just sick and tired of everything,
nothing has been going well, be it school, or personal.
oh man, and im looking forward to the bbq on friday =).
and i miss my seniors =) seriously.
i miss the times we trained together.
but anyway, all the best to you all =)
okay whatever, my post is damn RANDOM ~~

im finding it hard to talk to you.
im lost for words.
someone said, my action seems to show that im letting go.
maybe?
i dont know.
and that person asked, do i still like you?
my ans was definite. what do you think?
many little actions do matters, do you understand?.
sometimes, im just disappointed.
maybe and maybe, you just dont understand what im thinking.
or maybe, im abit too unreasonable?.
when i said, i miss you.
im not missing the presence of you,
but the kind "communications" we had.
i dont know how to phrase what im thinking in words now.
but..understand?
i remember that every morning when it rains,
without fail, you would message me. and ask me to becareful, and take a bus to school instead.
BUT NOW, you dont.
and i dont know why.
boy, sometimes, these little little things that showed that you care,
means alot to me.
did you realise that, i havent been giving you stars recently?
or maybe it dont even matters.
the stars are all in my bag.
still somehow, suddenly, i got no courage and kind of dont feel like giving.
baby boy, the past sugarrush kills.

-what can i do-

2007-05-14T19:56:00.000+08:00

played against vjc today
lost.
cheerup people,
i believe we all tried our best =)
lets work hard for next year =))

saw my vjc no6 =)
hahas.
whatever la.

was kind of down.
sigh.
when im alone, when i didnt talk to you
would you just take the initiative and ask me?
maybe just that you thought im fine.
whatever that make you happy.

-because im breathless, boy you kept me guessing-

2007-05-13T20:34:00.000+08:00

woke up at 6, shivering.
oh my, im running a fever.
took two panadol and went back to sleep.
met adel at twelve plus, headed to town.
bought two shirt.
i FOUND THAT GUESS WALLET AT, SEIYU WISMA !!!!!!
oh my god, im gonna get it let during SG sales?.
haas.
walked around, talk cock.
cam-whoring session =)
and now home sweet home.

alot of things running through my head.
following my heart?
when i dont even know what my heart wants?
acting that i dont give a damn, which isnt true?

sometimes i see that past of me and you.
sometimes, im so grateful to have you be it in the past or now.
cause you care, now, as a friend, you still care.
certain things, i had never tell you or others.
certain things you thought i had already forget.
somehow, thats fate,
when the time isnt right.
but still, i owe you alot, yet you forgave me, thank you.

-theres so much i wanted to tell you-

2007-05-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

went to sch in the morning, study =)
then play bball for awhile
and then went home at one plus.

met up with sophie at three.
headed to town. =)
walk around.
wanted to buy a black and gold adidas shirt.
maybe i'll get it tmr or next week.
bought a wallet for mummy.
and yeap went home at like 9.30
oh man and my leg is freaking pain. so is my throat.

oh ya. and i saw stupid cai on my way home this afternoon.
haha the first thing i did was to beat him.
im sorry boy =)
and walked home together with him.
and idiot you FORGET where i stay. haas.

-broken pieces, emtpy spaces,
would you fill them up for me?
would you mend those pieces and let me breathe?.-

2007-05-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

okay. school was pretty fine,
oh well, what the fuck i screwed up my skill c.
sigh, had no mood for lessons,
pon gp and econs.
played bball instead,
ang siow thien. WAKE UP LA YOU BITCH !!!

fine.after training
i went to eat with them =)
and damn it, my tummy still hurts even though i avoid chilli !!!!
seriously, the pain might as well KILL me la. =)

i didnt talk much to you.
or should i say today,
im just feeling damn fustrated.
sorry peeps for attitude.

adel, cheer up, ignore that son of the *****.
dont care alright?.
he is just damn it being childish la..
so dont put it on your heart.
you still have us.
like i said, no matter what u choose to do, we can only give u advise.
but the ultimate choice is yours and no one will blame you.,
as long as you are sure of what you are doing. =)
i love you.

i wanted to say my piece.
i wanted to tell you how i feel.
but how do i start?.
how should i say it to you.
didnt talk alot to you.
i expected you to start the topic first.
since you said nothing,
i just walk away.
called you just now,
you didnt pick up.
maybe you fell asleep.
everytime i tried telling you my thinkings,
you always say sorry,
boy do you know that what i want to hear isnt sorry?.
and sorry doesnt makes the heart feels better.

`You and someone you care about are on different wavelengths right now, but this shouldn't frustrate or frighten you. It's true that the way forward for you two is not very clear, but don't give up on the hope that clarity is coming. New beginnings are much likelier than endings. It's time for an honest discussion with this person. Do not be afraid that what you have to say is silly, irrelevant or unimportant.`

that is my horoscope for today. its time for an honest discussion.
what do we have to discuss, how do we start.im trying to say. yet i dont know how to say.

-a strong front, is not what it is-

2007-05-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADELEINE TEOW MEI FANG !!!!
i miss you to bits la. =)

okay, after school today,
i went home then headed to amk to meet mad, qiao , wei wei, jun kai, wei jie and rong mao.
had fish and co for dinner.
then we went k-boxing,
emo yet high eh. hahas
half way, mad has to leave.
and girl, we arent angry and we understand. haha =)
love you.

after kbox, took bus home.
really had a nice day today.
i really miss my two bitches like mad la.
yeap.

i shouldnt love you
but i want to.
i shouldnt even think of you
yet i cant help.
if you knows how im feeling deep inside.
would you just let it go?
baby, i just wanna hold you tight.

2007-05-09T19:31:00.000+08:00

sigh.
we lost to ajc.
did we do our best?
seriously?.
lets work hard
we are a TEAM.
so adel, DONT blame yourself.
you and becca are my fav captains.

after match,
watched hci vs sajc and vjc vs ajc.
OH MY,
MY NO 6 FROM VJC IS SUPER CUTE =))
hahas.
okays enough.
oh man and his name is DANIEL hahas.

emotions all around,
it wasnt good at all.
trying so hard to put up that smile,
who do i do all these for?.
and now, im trying my best to just let it be.
so be it then.?/
still i need you somehow. right now.

2007-05-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

okay.
didnt go to sch.
my tummy hurts.
whatever la.. can just kill me.
went to polyclinic with adel.
4 hours of waiting. =.=
doctors prescribed me with two bottles of antaacid,
and NO CHILLI,no milk, no oily stuffs for at least ONE WEEK !!!!
omg. freaking killing me la, that means NO LONG JOHN, NO CHOCOLATE,ARGHH.
whatever.
health is more important eh. =)

after that we went for lunch.
xiang jie , cousin and aloy came to find us at yoshinoya.
slacking eh.
test tmr and im slacking
GOOD JOB XIAO TIAN. =.=

if loving someone end that person in blood,
will you still love?
if words killed that someone practically,
why dont you spare a thought for that person?
if love makes the world go around,
why do i see fallen corpse everywhere.

happiness is when there is you,
happiness is when you care
happiness is lying on your shoulder.
happiness is when im with you.
my happiness is JUST SO simple.

-how do we cure broken hearts?-

2007-05-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

had trg today.
okay la.. haha
after that went for dinner at north point.
jokes sia. haha
emo kid. lol.

fine, i did badly for napfa.
OMG.disgrace eh.. sigh.,
whatever la..
all i want NOW is accuracy.
bless me. hahas =)

oh man, and i cant concentrate during lessons.. that was OMG.lol
im kind of HIGH today,
abit out of the way.
sigh.

next match on wed.
bless us.
LET US DO IT.
GO YJ.
haha =)

im sick and tired of such love story.
im envying fairytale-liked love story.
im crying over that love song.
boy, you will never know.
the feeling, deep down inside.
covered up with that so as per normal smile.
you took my heart away,
leaving the girl in blood.

if walking away seems hard,
do i still choose to stay.
if holding back my tears seem hard,
do i still cry ,
and so if i cry,
can i cry on your shoulder.
would you be there,.

you are so unaware about times you made her sad.

2007-05-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

UPLOADED NEW SONG FOR MY BLOG.
haha
although its chinese, but i like.
NI HEN AI TA.
okay,
met adel at ps,
acc her to buy phone. haha
her grandma super cute la.
after that walk walk then went to meet shun and cousin.
sigh,
i saw that GUESS WALLET that i all along wanted.
damn damn it. hahas
adel,
im not emo la.
sometimes maybe, still im always smiling la.
haha JUST SO YOU KNOW EH. ahah.

tears rolled down on that starry night.
yet the girl is still being left alone.
she wants this ambigouity no more,
yet she dont bear to give up.
after seeing broken hearts all around her,
she would rather continue this ambigouity.
stupid and contradicting she knows.
yet this is it.
what she wants is so much more,
no one will ever understand.

-because this game wasnt easy to play.-

2007-05-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

fine
watched spiderman after school before i go home for dinner
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY !
if things cont. this way in the family,
i would miss home more.
really.

madeleine,
not that i didnt want to go for your chalet.
dont tell me you dont understand.
i have to finish up my GPP.
i apologised.
really
ill make it up to you,
im sorry.

im disappointed
you dont seem to understand.
friends for so long
yet,
im tired of explaining,
so be it?.
used to it.

your nick
hurts me.
yet still nth i said
what can i say?
you nv seem to understand
im tired.
ill be gone soon
as you wish.
and then ill nv be back
lke you wish.
goodbye in advance?

2007-05-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

OMG, WE WON!!
super happy
LETS WORK HARDER GIRLS =)
hahas.

ambigouity exists.
all along
between you and me.
dont mind, dont we?
do you?.
i wanted to walk away,
but when you sat there, alone.
my heart soften,
walking back, so much heartaches
still i smile,
acting that all the conversations doesnt exist.
can you feel that the smiles arent real?.
i just dont want you to feel bad,
whats now?
whats next?
the girl dont deserve all these,
or is the boy too picky.
the boy cares, yet the girl throws tantrum.
ending this ambigouity?,
but the girl dont bear.
maybe all along she just dont mean anything,
the closure of an unwritten fairytale?

2007-05-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

fine.
watched video today
JIAYOU for tmr
MUST WIN!!!
LETs GO YJ =))

believe and we CAN do it. =)

ambigouity?
a bliss or a tragedy?
how many more tradegies do i have to go through?.
your words contradicts.
what am i suppose to believe?
COMPROMISE?
it does make me sad, but LOSING YOU makes me even sadder.
you are always my crazy boy?
YOU SURE?.
how long can i be your crazy girl?.
from now on, misses cannot be said out,
hearts and stars no more.
insignificant too right?
sorry doesnt always cure.
it CANT mend a broken heart.
hope, false hopes.
dont say YOU DONT WANT ME SAD,
when you had already made me sad.
boy, would you hold me when i go?.
should this ambigouity carries on?

garfield.shun eh,
thanks for being there for me.
the blood stains, hard to remove,
tiring for you to try, its not worth.
i thank god for friends like you and adel.
the girl, will be fine. cause she isnt as weak as she seems.
and you know the girl too well.

wei jie,
maybe to you i only know how to think of eric,
but when i said, i misses thomas, DO YOU BELIEVE?.
he is always there, my guardian angel.
YOU SURE?.
i did miss him, he is the only one that is willing to give in alot to me.
really.
but when that time, i wanted to go back,
he left with HER,
and so FATELESS.
but i did, really miss him.

-she hates the differences,and dont love her like a kid-

2007-05-01T13:32:00.000+08:00

went to gab's house with adel and eddie yest's morning
watched dvd- the prestige and brotherhood.
oh man. brotherhood is a damn touching show la.
seriously,
after that we went to meet shell, kelvin, shun li and sophie at yck mrt and then we headed down to marina to meet the rest.
had steamboat. haha, xiang jie was the chef eh. lol =)
it was damn funny la. the way julia and xj bickers. lol
after eating, we went for pool.
i was god damn lousy la.
whatever. and then we went home.

stupid you,
you dont have to be scare, seriously.
the choice is yours like you said its mine.
time will tell. that is what you said.
so, let time show?.
i would stay, if you asked me to.

-memories play back, same old person, different expression-

2007-04-29T21:21:00.000+08:00

im freaking pissed.
bad bad day.
whatever, hahas

okay went to pkkcc to play bball.
with adel and shun li.
hahas.
pity adel's leg lol. haha
went back at five plus. yeap.

you,
you,
the differences, still i want to be your Crazy girl.

2007-04-28T18:51:00.000+08:00

hmm.
met adel and alvin in the morning for breakfast.
then went to school, self study.
whatever la.
ahha watched video.
loads of mistakes.
hopefully we dont do it again.
hahas.

stupid dumb dumb. =)
oh ya, and adel was right,
coming to JC its as if you are in your own jc world.
with your jc pals.
cause school ends late, loads of work and cca.
so its damn hard to be as free as the past.
sigh, i miss YOU all.

and when you stop waiting,
life seems to get so much lighter and happier.
maybe it's because at the same time,
you stop wanting things that're hurting you.

qouted from RAINE.
sorry girl, qoute from your blog.
its damn true that when all the waiting stops, life gets much happier and nicer.
and then, you love yourself even more. <3.

fucking physics, im going crazy.
arghh,
sigh. im feeling damn pek chek, i dont know why.
you dont seem to care and so, or maybe you did
im getting crazy,
RARRR~

-when its so near yet so far, im trying to hold on-
-the hearts and the stars, do they mean something-

2007-04-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

okay.
we lost to HCI
win ACJC.
was quite happy about the winning game.
and adeline, please take care and becareful.
sigh, unseen problems in the team.

boys lost.
but cheerup eh,
you guys really played a nice game.
oh ya that fucking referee. but anyway its over.
i was damn vulgar just now. sha la la.

and calista came and support bill.
she was damn friendly la. haha whatever,
i miss her too. =)

it is just a super random post.

im really happy, when there is you.
but sometimes, the differences are too far apart.
my family, my past, how much do you know about me?.
same goes to me. sigh.
but boy, i know im falling for you.
just that. sigh.
my lame shit, tell me, are my worries too extra?. cause ive been thinking too much?.
oh ya and like i said, ill be here always, stupid boy.

-can love overcome all differences?.can YOU really vanished from my life?-

2007-04-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

my tummy is hurting
seriously.
sigh.
and i wasnt even in the mood for anything yesterday.
sorry to make you worried. =)

woke up at 7.30 this morning.
went to see doctor.
same old phrase. STOMACH FLU.
after that went to meet adel and shun
then study,
we were damn lame la.
haha
whatever =).

oh ya and mummy's damn sweet today
i dont know what got into her
she bought me my favourite- pooh
and the shower foam i've always wanted
orange flavour from the body shop.
and she brought me to the doctor.
oh my god.
its so effing not HER.
but i prefer her this way.

oh ya and my friend is getting married SOON
like october?
omg, she is only seventeen la.
whatever it sounds like SHOTGUN to me and madeleine la..
i just got a shock la.
i cant imagine myself getting married and being committed NOW
when im not done with my dreams and my studies
and when my thoughts are still not fully matured.
and im not even at the least financially stable..
OH MY OH MY.
how could one be willing to give up her freedom at such young age. oh my,

qiao, cheerup
madeleine and me love you.,
stay strong and brave through it.
madeleine, its not NEW HOT STUFFS. hahas
and you are effing effing curious eh?
haha i'll definitely make it to your birthday my sweetie.
cause we are the four besties right?.
raine paige trixie and madeleine. sighs

i saw eric yesterday.
i was shocked, emo, happy.
but it doesnt matters,
i no longer react like how i used to. maybe because i've understood what you were trying to say that time.
TIAN ZHONG HUI HEI,REN ZHONG YAO LI BIE
SHUI YE BU NENG YONG YUAN WEI SHUI.
and the feeling of lonliness and seperation must be faced.
these meanings was fully understood when i heard this song playing this morning.
a kind of relief, my lost love.
a blessing i really give, my once love.
but still i wish, our memories will always be our sweet lil secret.

baby, you are my caramel.
stupid caramel.
no more sweet chocolates. hahas
i want dark ones.

ambigouous,
so near yet so far.
but im contented.
thats when treasuring is a must.

2007-04-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

the boys had match with HCI,
lost but good job guys.
and YOU. hahas
after that we stayed on to watch the HCI's girls.
kind of sad. sigh
really dont know who.
but come on GIRLS. =)

after that we went for dinner.
and then sembawang to play bball.
sigh,

fang-ey and qiao-ey
i seriously miss the both of you.
fang-ey dont leave alright?
dont be sad, you still got us
though im always not free.
sorry babes.
i miss the times we clubbed, i miss the times we got drunk or rather i.
i miss the days we quarrel, we bitched about each other
and so many more..
sigh. thanks for being there for me
always like no others.

stupid boy,
i need no reasons to like you
cause you are just you.
like i said, ill be here supporting you always.
just so you know,.

2007-04-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

okay
had trg today
kinda low morale eh?
sigh.
its next wed.
come on ppl. we can DO it
GO TEAM YJC.
didnt mean to pinpoint at anyone nor cried
sorry.

sigh sigh and sigh
worst of all is, i dont know whats the freaking problem with my stomach
diarrehoea for four days, constant pain
sigh.
i think i can just die eh.

oh ya, hmmm
im loving things this way
but still i hope you'll say.
asking me to stay.

i dont know why, and shouldnt i?

2007-04-15T09:00:00.000+08:00

got that adidas bag. damn happy.
and ah shun. stop that ldy thingy eh. hahas
adel and alvin, our da zhi bao. lol

im sad, but you wouldnt know,
tears fallen, you still dont know.
to you, im that strong, that not easy to cry,
but boy, sorry, im weak.
i dont know since when,
you began to mean smth to me.
i dont know why,
i want you to be there,
i want you to take care of me.
mixed feelings you swore,
i believe.
time will show, lets see then.
more than friends or less?. the answers lie with you,
but boy, for now, this moment,
i truly wish you were here.
i dont want to end up landing in pain for the second time
i dont want to have, that yet nothing at all.

like they said, i meant something.
do i?
if i do, would my tears matter?.

2007-04-14T01:19:00.000+08:00

sigh,
whatever la.
didnt play well today,
damn sian, im sorry.

you are damn insensitive la.
sigh,
i really dont know what to say la.
alvin said its true
is it?
how would i know if you dont say.
sigh
when im gone, theres no way back.

-ni yue lai yue zhong yao.-

2007-04-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

If the status of a relationship isn't very clear, you should try opening your eyes a bit wider. If you're not seeing things the way they really are, it could be because you're afraid that the picture isn't as rosy as you want it to be. But you're dealing with your own happiness and future -- and knowing the truth is better than living in blissful ignorance. Seeing things as they really are doesn't always require courage -- sometimes it requires only a bit of self-respect. Besides, things are not as bad as you think!

that was my horoscope for the day.
what was it trying to mean.
who is it refering to?.
i dont know. sigh
im getting used to it,
but i know its a habit,
what do i exactly want,
and im just afraid of any outcome.
i darent try any more.
once from someone, is enough,
the hurt for two plus years is unbearable,
and so, i dont want another years.

2007-04-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

im damn touched.
seriously i am,
thank you madeleine for the video.
thanks alot.
flashbacks of our friendship when i view the video.
our joy,
our tears,
how i made qiao and you disappointed,
how angry i were.
how we cried together,
how we stood by each other.
life goes on,
im always not free.
sorry babe
but still
no one can take over you all.
its a blessing to have the both of you as my besties
thank you.

2007-04-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

okay.
meaningless SUNDAY.
woke up at eleven.
then study.
chem test tmr.
I NOT IN THE MOOD TO STUDY !.
damn it.

im missing my bitches,
MADELEINE AND PAIGE,
sorry babes.
ill stand strong maddy,
dont worry. im just momentarily tired.

so im blog-hopping again.
to kill boredom. thats why.
sigh sigh and sigh,
emo is feeling sad over nothing.
and thats what im facing.

i told people, im fine alone.
the truth is im not.
im not that strong like im on the outside.
im trying so hard for this two years plus
and im happy at the least you dont matter anymore.
everything is trying to suffocate me,
why dont i just kill myself first.
i feel as though im so not being myself,
i tried too hard to smile.
i dont know.

feelings after blog-hopping,
its amazing how a girl is willing to scarifice for the guy
although the guy seems nonchalent
but the girl waits on,
its amazing how just one simple message is able to brighten up the girl's day.
its really amazing, the power of love.
yet this one-sided love, is very hard to carry on,
cause you will end up in pain,
so why not. let things be,
the girl's pain, is what i can fully understand,
the girl's stubborness, is what i had at that time,
but so im tired, so let it be,

2007-04-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

im feeling damn lazy.
okay went to sch in the morning
played bball
study.
yeaps thats it.
oh and playing pokers too. haha

dinner at long john
then threading with adel.
and then back to home.

love is a difficult game to play.
the rules not fixed.
the heart is hard to get.
this game has no winners.
its full of tears.
and so, im afraid.

2007-04-07T00:03:00.000+08:00

emo found me suddenly.
i miss all of you,
janet wendy yuwen fangru binpei.
the six of us.
quarrels and laughters.
joy and tears,
i really miss them.
how are you all?.
hows life?.
how long have we chat?
do you still remember?
or im just transparent?.

wo hen lei.
seriously.
that cheerful girl is not cheerful afterall.
its all facade,
too facade.
sometimes when i say i dislike you all.
but i still care.
seeing whats becoming of this family
im really sad,
i have never been prepared for these
really, its too much for me to handle.
sometimes i just wish that i dont exist,
at least i wouldnt have to see family politics.
we are one family, but why arent we behaving like one?
we are linked to each other but why are we becoming strangers?
i dont want to see this family torn even further
i dont want to see the day bro walk out on you all.
i dont want to end up in a semi broken family.
i dont deserve all these, why must i go through it?
can we try to accept each other and be like the past,
i really miss the past.
at least you all were so much better last time.

tears flow,
not due to saddness but disappointment.
i really dont know what its like to be smiling HAPPILY.

2007-04-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

okay .
that jj match.
a bung looks so much like you,
damn it.
really alike.
my heart almost frumble.
it aint love.
its just shock.

went to queensway with adel sophie and shun li
me and adel bought our ss2g KIDS. haha
then sophie bought PRO MODEL low cut.
yeah..
walk around
slacked
then went back yishun.
reached yishun at 7 plus.. then meet alvin
and then we went to play bball at 325
then 925 for dinner
and here i am now.
oh ya and i saw the black version of eleanor's adidas bag!!!
i want!! gaga
im going to GET IT.
WAIT FOR ME =)

i realised.im so fine without you.
and thats it, although i tend to look back.

2007-04-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

had match with jurong jc.
what the fuck.
sighh.
i actually lost possession of the ball while fast breaking.
damn it la.
as the day draws nearer, i feeling more nervous.
alot of things to brush up.
and sigh im feeling moodless towards studies.. im dead.

okay cont tmr
good night people.

2007-04-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

okay.
had training AFTER pe today.
fuck la.
my leg can go sha la la. haha
ran like almost 16 rounds?. then training.
oh man. oh man.
but never mind, its all WORTH. haha
went to have dinner after that
then back home.

and so,
i really hate this FAMILY
its not even a FAMILY la.
STOP complaining to me how unfillial kor was.
STOP saying that we would be much better off without him
when you dont even know a SHIT about the things going on here.
come on la. you got legs, MUST you drive?
come on la, we wouldnt survive without kor.
EVERYONE TO YOU IS USELESS??
WHAT ABOUT YOURSELVE?.
think about it.
you sure you are good enough??.
i wanted to scream right into your face,
but whats the point?.
do you even know the hurt i feel?
the moment i step into the house and there you were,
drinking and smoking.
WOW.luxury eh?
come on la, you dont have the luck to be enjoying NOW.
everytime i see you, i would start to compare, start to feel unfair
why why is my family like this?
what have i done to deserve all these?
FUCK LA!!!
KNN.
stop stop stop complaining to me
ITS MORE THAN ENOUGH LA !!!
cause I DONT WANT TO HEAR,
I DONT WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
SPARE ME PLEASE. I REALLY CANNOT TAKE IT.
take it as i beg you la.
im only 17, I DONT DESERVE ALL THESE FUCKING SHIT.

damn pissed, damn sad
tears keep rolling.
i really dont know what to do.
no more love toward you all,
the feeling is neutral.
like stranger.
im sorry.

2007-04-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

heard of the chinese story: hai zi wo wei she me da ni? child, my reasons for hitting you.

okay. after reading that short story, people around me agreed with what the author said, but im exceptional.
the author said, she hits her child because it was the last resort when every other methods fail.
she said that she feel the pain everytime she hit her child. she wonders if it was the right way to punish her child.

if that is what most mothers feel when they beat their children, why is mine so exceptional.
i remember clearly, she always hit me for no absolute reason, just because she is tired, piss off by work, and so im being beaten.
so can i say, i am already used to all the canings, and hence now, even when she starts to quarrel , i find it so common. like a normal routine.
and she always say that she wants to die, from last time till now, her statement never change. haha so, when she said that, i feel no urgency.
so used to it, so used to the coldness in the family.
i guess we are more like stranger than a family right?.
a brother that never come home often, a dad and mum that couldnt understand us,
and ME, a girl that feels nothing, no belonging to this family.
i would rather go to school, then training and then home.. cause by then, its about nine plus, and when i reach home, i can sleep after washing up.
its better than staying at home, facing four walls, no warmth. NOTHING, ahaha.

enough of that crap.. lets review the quarrel i had with her today.
i need a pair of shoe. my old pair has a hole already,
i had no money with me, brother doesnt have enough to transfer to me, cause he needs it for his expenses.
so i decided to ask from her first,
then she was so reluctant, FINE.
so i say never mind.
then she said i give her attitude.
what a nice comment, !!!
come on la, she ought to be feeling INFERIOR AND SHAMEFUL
she cannot even afford her daughter's expenses and graphic calculator?
what a nice joke. and everything i pay myself.
even the calculator, i dont even dare to ask her to pay la.
everything i want, I PAY MYSELF. she didnt even fork out a single cent.
and yet she dare to say i keep on wanting her to get things for me !!
its damn irritating la.
come on, i DIDNT.
when was the last i said, mummy can you get this from me?
when was the last i said, mummy i have no money. can give me?
i never even complain to you la.
please la. stop trying to push all the blame to me.
im your daughter.
IF YOU DONT WANT TO GET FOR ME, JUST SAY, I WILL FIND MONEY MYSELF !!!
and please get this straight.
reflect on WHY you always have no money when everything is paid by brother including my allowance,
YOU OUGHT to be shameful la. where is your pay?.
and come on, stop asking MONEY from me. i repeat STOP, and I DONT HAVE !!
and can you ask him to get a proper job?.
if he finds taxi driving too tiring, can he get another job?.
can you stop giving him money.

sigh, i dont know what the FUCK is going on.
neither do i want to do,
people see me as rich, nice cheerful girl
even pampered
but the actual fact is, IM NOT.
not at the least pampered,
not at the least cheerful.
its all just a facade front.

2007-03-30T23:37:00.000+08:00

internet down for the past two days
damn sian, so im using wireless for the moment haha =)
okay.,
pretty fine.
hmm had training today.
10 runs in total.
played match. haha
and annoucement for college players.
okay didnt expect. really.
must work doubly hard haah.
jiayou to everyone. hahas.
okay
been quite obessed with JUST SO YOU KNOW BY jesse mccartney. hahas

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

-quite emo. haha but its nice, reminds me of my stubborness. whatever.

2007-03-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

training today.
it was fun. and yeap. haha.
leg pain ar.. pe and training on the same day =.=
okay.
i dont know what to blog.
mixed emotion?/.
oh ya and during math lecture today, i was sitting with pru
and we both became emo.
we miss linette and others. sigh.
i swear we almost cry out that instant.

oh ya.
and im so crazy over my eyecandy =)
weee. he is damn cute la. but he will never know that he is my eye candy
cause it is FORBIDDEN =).
oh ya and anyway
eyecandy dont equates to someone you will like.
hahas. =)
my taste is like what Bill said, weird. haha.

broken peices of my heart
when will they be mended.
how can they forgo him
and rewrite a new fairytale

2007-03-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

okay.
i practically fell asleep while doing my pw yest. haha
woke up at 6.40. off the computer and went back to my dreamland.
whatever.
had breakfast at ten, with mum and dad AMAZINGLY =).
grandma came with wei xuan. that cute little cousin of mine,
he is so naughty la. but he is my favourite.
haha. i scolded him 'huai dan' he replied 'ni shi ben dan'
haha. what the hell la.
after that met alvin at yishun mrt and headed down to bishan. met ah shun.
then the three of us went to library.
did some research. got myself two books haha. =)
then went to do homework at mac.
after that walk around then HOME SWEET HOME.

came across this poem while reading the book about nelson mandela

human beings suffer
they torture one another
they get hurt and get hard
no poem or play or song
can fully right a wrong
inflicted and endured.

unsure of alot of things
your image still lingers
so heck care i may be,
somehow i care deep down.
people keep saying im silly
move on will you? they asked
yes, im trying. i said
somehow they can see,
here i am still. waiting for what once not answered.
sometimes silly questions pop out,
who knows he will be touched.
touched by all that i had done?.
who knows he still care.
BUT i know, these will never happen
if i ever were important.
because if i am, he wouldnt let me go.
wake up and stop dreaming ! they said.
i know i know, but... i replied.
speechless everytime.
maybe yes I am dreaming. because i trusted you. so much.
too much that in the end
the smile is gone,
she is lost.
till now, she never did place her heart in any relationship
she started them because she knows she would be loved.
but yet the one she love is you.
she kept everything deep down inside.
with just tears flowing every night.
all that she has done,
you will never know.
BECAUSE YOU NEVER CARE,
and IT DONT MATTER ANYMORE.

just how many times had i contradict MYSELF.

2007-03-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

okay.
was feeling god damn bored today.
so went to school and met shopie then we played bball.
after that went for movie TMNT with alvin gab eddie.
the show not bad la.. action pack, ahhas
hmm after that shopie alvin and me went to 325 to play ball.
okay and here i am already =)

okay.
saw alot of people today.
samantha, thomas, veronica. haha
sighs.
have to do my dumb dumb research later
sha la la la la la la.
im feeling damn lazy on saturday
no mood for studies man., haha
nvm JIA YOU. haha.

fang shou hou cai dong de zhen xi
na she ren de ben xin ma?
wo hai shi zai xun zhao zhe shu yu wo de na ge wang zi

2007-03-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

school has been fine.
as usual, lectures and tutorials, dozing off and concentrating.
besides that it's playing basketball and slacking?. hahas
okay. had self-training yesterday,
we were full of CRAPS.
and seriously we are damn lame. haha
but yeap united we are, even when we talked bad about the same girl. haha =p

i went to mac at 4 am today. study all the way till like 7.20?. then met eddie and went to school. hahas.i guess im without slp for like 18 hours already. i only had two and a half hours of sleep yesterday. haha. after that sort of like slack in the library with gab,eddie and ang gu, =). then home sweet home.
oh ya, saw janice and novell on my way back, yeah !! i miss you babes, hahas.

oh shucks. im looking forward to weekends, at least i can rest. haha. and training tomorrow.im sick and tired of my time table. end freaking late , earliest 3. what the hell la. never mind. ANG SIOW THIEN, JIA YOU =). im nuts.

its never easy trying to put everything down,
moving on like nothing has ever happen.
its never easy to open up to someone,
when your heart has been lock since the very day.
somehow as days pass by
all the NEVER EASY will get easier.
then, my fairytale can be rewritten with my prince.

2007-03-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

when my phone rings,
your name appeared.
shocked my soul,
my heart crumbles.
your life story,
im still so into it.
your love story,
its hurts to listen.
still, no matter how bad i feel,
a smile i show, a blessing i give.
i've waited so long
even if its just a word
as long as it's from you,
my day would be brighten,
but.
how many times, how many lies i've said
to numb myself,
as painful as it may be,
like a needle pricking my heart continuously.
have you ever think of the girl
who once loved you wholeheartedly.
the girl is not strong
the girl hasn't forget
but, she has no choice.
only to let the boy go.
all the girl still hope was,
the promise you made will be fulfilled.
NEVER ERASE THE MEMORIES WHICH ONCE CONTAINS YOU AND ME.

2007-03-18T11:59:00.000+08:00

im not able to find back the feeling
the sweetness of loving someone.
the constant awaiting,
landed me into numbness.
that smile of mine,
has long turned into dust.
whats left is that facade smile.
wipe that facade smile away,
i want to smile like i used to.

2007-03-16T12:26:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.
had match with ajc yesterday.
mixed feelings among us.
sigh, whatever.
after that went to makan at sumo house
then went to adel house to play mahjong hahas.
my speed of arranging the tiles is super slow. hahas.
played till one thirty then home sweet home.

suoer short post.
im feeling lazy.
haha =)

2007-03-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

*thats how i feel when we got together and problems start, the tears kept flowing,
my heart is breaking, yet you keep on moving without waiting. promises you made, make me wonder , but still you went back on your words.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

*i once promise, ill be with you no matter what happens. now, i'm going back on my words cause it's painful to keep on to those words. better still, since you dont need me anymore, at least now i know, waiting is somewhat redundant.

sometimes,
following your heart,
will land you in blood.
subconsiously, two and a half years past
time to wake up,
live for my own.
start afresh,
without you anymore.
i'll keep on trying,
till you are forgotten
like im to you.
goodbye, my once loved

2007-03-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

You held my hand and walked me home, I know
Why you gave me the kiss, it was something like this, it made me go oh oh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love, guys are so hard to trust

2007-03-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

my heart is lock
since the day you went away.
you took the key,
forgot to give me back.
now its unable to unlock.
its having difficulty breathing
its bleeding,
from all the tries to get free,
please take pity on me,
the girl that used to love you
throw me back the key,
its as simple as abc
just five words,
I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE
and answers to my uncertainties.
till then,
the heart will be unlocked
the pain will go away.

i understand, i know.
i shouldnt let it lingers
i should get away with it.
all i need is just those words
to set me free.

take pity on me,
if you ever know whats going on
tell me what i want to hear
say it with honesty
boy cause i can differentiate.

the heart needs freedom,it needs to be unlocked
the pain too unbearable.

2007-03-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

the same old route
the once so familiar faces
gone with the wind
and now, i shall forget about eternity.
boy, you will never BELONG to me.
my wishful thinking

2007-03-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

okay.
went to it fair then to match.
lost by 5 pts
but the referee damn bias la.
cannot stand. haha
after that play bball while then chit chat then home sweet home.

hahas =)
like i said, i dont wnat to end up dying during bridging later
so im gg to slp now.
and ya its not excuses.
thats it.

believe what seen
and not what heard
believe the one you love
more than your conscious mind.
boy, do i love you still.

2007-03-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

okay. fine
so went meet wai dek at khatib mac at two plus then study
after that went to the bball court infront of khatib mrt to watch the guy's match.
well lost by 19 points but they tried their best
after that,played 5on5 half court,
they were damn noisy la. hahas
then went to eat at mac
chatted awhile then hoem sweet home. =).

oh ya and im noy going the clinic already,
having bridging the next day
i dont want to fall asleep during bridging,
cannot afford to =).
nvm, no mood to club too
and , i dont bother.

and if being together with a grp of guys look like a flirt,
so be it.
and the different definition of flirt.

and you , stop asking money from me,
im not working
come on, you dont have to care abt the bill
and so why are you short of cash?
the best thing is you are not even the one giving me allowance.
whatever.

oh ya and alvin heard someone telling him
i still like eric.
and he says he heard it long ago
what a 'joke'
fine, be it he knows or not
nothing will ever change.

if things would have been a little better
a little smoother,
a little more love then disappointment,
i wouldnt behave the way i am
i wouldnt react to you all like i never
i wouldnt be someone so not like me.

-my weird attitude, weird self doesnt come without any reasons-

2007-03-10T10:35:00.000+08:00

too much happenings
im so numb to the surrounding.
don't try telling me whats going on
ignorance is a bliss from now on.
you all dont need me for anything
so let me remain in the dark as i wish.

my shattered heart, with a shattered family.

2007-03-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

i'm leaving my world of illusion
starting to face the truth.
life has been so much better
and now, you dont matter.
still, tears rolled down when memories resurface
its not love, its just disappointment.
my heart is dead,
its bleeding yet its numb
someone stop the blood and let me feel the pain again.

i dont wanna play no more.

2007-03-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

okay. haha
today is the last day of orientation. and sad to say some of my friends are no longer in the same class at me.
like zheng yang and benjamin.
lala. we'll miss you all,.
okay i seriously hope that we can bond. but ahaha. like kind of hard =(

okay.
went to sarimbu camp site for water games.
i sneak in to be the game master for water bomb.
its DAMN fun la,
i got myself SUPER wet. haha
everyone really enjoyed. haha
cleared up at the end and went back to sch at 6 plus,
then went for JAM AND HOP.
it wasnt that fun. but still did enjoy la
with my trudy and pru. haahs,
after that went home with p03 peeps.

oh ya and the jae peeps for bball this year,
i mean girls la,so tall. hahas
okays its random =)

-be with me like you always do-

2007-03-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

the one that most people though will leave,
stayed at the end.

freaking bored,
the jae people are not as rarr raar as us.
so i took chances to sneak out and slack,
whatever.

oh ya saw a few familar faces haha
alvin and wan lin and xiang cong,.
hahas.

played bball after the ogl things
fcuk, got to reach sch at 7, damn early can !! RARRR.
oh ya and chang qiao hui !!
you are super MEAN haha =)

-being a socialite doesnt equates to flirt-

2007-03-06T09:29:00.000+08:00

okay.
so ut like 9.31 am NOW
oversleep.
i got into yjc. haha fine.
okay thinking about going to sch at around 3 plus.
hahah.

hmmm.
had match with tpjc yest.
and i saw jia yun, my long lost primary school friend.
hahas =))
okay we win !!!
so happy,
after match we went home.

2007-03-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

okay people !!! let me make this clear =)
I DONT SMOKE
the pic was just for PHOTOTAKING PURPOSE =))

hahas.

2007-03-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

hello again its me maddy! (:
yayness! i finally got her picture and editted a lil here and there!

&&fellyjellybelly! i've re-linked you already! (: cause i know she wont touch a single shit stuff in her blog! lol!

oh by the way tina, i took off your archieves cause it takes too much space and it looks ugly like that! haha!

and oh people, she was lying when she said she didnt puff. cause the smoke automatically went in to her mouth! sshhhhh!

lol! ok im being lame! so goodbye for now! (:

2007-03-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

what a fine day,
i mean fine seriously.
i reached school at 9.30
haha.
skipped math lecture and assembly. haha
okay.
wanted to skip chinese today too
but haas, i went in the end.
okay,
ANG siow thieN,
you BETTER wake up and be SERIOUS !!!.
stop PONNING after jae.

fine. after school went for flyer distriution with p04 hahas,
tiring la, waste my saliva also. =p
EXCUSME, THERE WILL BE YJC STUDENTS COLLECTING NEWSPAPER AND UNWANTED CLOTHES ON WED,7th MARCH, THANK YOU,
hahas, after that went for yoshi with char, aud, sarah and gu huai, haha.
after that went to play bball at nee soon cc.
then im now at HOME.

oh ya,
and i cant stand people who simply have no time concept.
i kept quiet because i dont want to hear any apologies
cause it will still be the same.
come on, please have some basic courtesy or rather manners.
stop being late.

-a dream, a dream so true-

2007-02-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

watched JUST FOLLOW LAW today with madeleine and jeff.
it's funny yet the meaning behind this movie has deep impression on me.
a father feeling guilty for not being able to support his daughter
a daughter feeling sad for not treasuring the mother.
both only realise their faults when they switched body and tried to adapt to each other's life.

would you ever feel sad for not being able to really support me?
would you ever be like the father in the movie, learnt his mistakes at the end?
would you ever feel inferior when all your friends are working and they are able to not depend on their child?

would i ever come to understand and appreciate certain things that you all had given me?
would i ever treat you all because i love you all and not due to responsibility?

alot and alot of things crossed my mind. you all love me, i know.
but somehow, i couldnt accept certain facts.
my apology.

the purpose of love
was once so clear.
to stay happy and true forever.
as days pass by like never,
the purpose of love seems to disappear.
hatred and tears start to show.
yet, why do people still choose to LOVE.

i reserve part of my heart for the memories of your love.
i reserve part of my mind for the love we once shared.
i reserve part of my life for the return of your soul.
and yet, your love is like a knife
pierced my heart more than thrice
withstanding it with all my might.
and now,
boy, it really too much.
and so i had no choice, but only to reserve my heart and my mind.
my life, too precious, couldnt take it any longer
and so, i deserve someone better.
yet boy, still i love you for now.

2007-02-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

hmm. oh la la
i went for naval piercing hahas.
i thought it was going to be god damn pain.
but it wasnt la =)
the guy was damn funny. i didnt even know when he pierced my naval, i was laughing all along. hahas.
hmmm.

okay after that went over to 325 to meet qiaoey and fangey, hahas
played bball.
woohoo.
and sha la la sha lala.
craps. haha
chit chat under my block. haha
replenish dagger, haha =)

school was pretty fine.
class bond. haha
im gonna miss the current PO4.
sighs.
oh i made a scene in class today,
haha woke people up from their sleep,
laughing, haha
was god damn high. hhahas.
how i wish the first three month will never end.
a friend made.
is a friend always.

-everything will have to bid goodbye someday, but the process of meeting will stay always-

2007-02-25T13:42:00.000+08:00

hello people. okay so this blog is with my picture cause i havent get hold of hers.

oh and anyway, trixie and paige! i lovey you! (: thanks for standing up for me. (:

love you love you tina tian-ey!

smooches! haha! (:

i thank god for being blessed with friends like the two of you! yayness!

2007-02-25T11:00:00.000+08:00

okay,
was suppose to go to my teacher's house yest
but mummy wants me to go to ah yi's house.
so yeap. i went with her,
slack at there, did some homework. haha
my nephew is damn cute la.
he wants me to feed him. haha =)
okay no photos of him,
sigh, my phone spoil.
i wanna get a new one. !!!.

after that went over to orchard for chingay
but ended up walking??. hahas
then back yishun, watched protege with wai dek.
the show is about drugs. yeap
drugs suck la =).
oh man. i wanna watch hannibal rising, haha.

okay, now im going to waste part of my post to scold this bloody low class BITCH.
adeline LEE or i should say ADELINE ZHUO???
you are god damn thick skin, come on wake up la.
you called yourself adeline zhou?? when andrew didnt even agrees that you are his WIFE?.
and come on, arent you cheap??
you dare to say that you are NOT?. slap you.
who was the one that kissed with a guy so passionately in club, who was the one that sleep with francis when she only know him for a day?. and who was the one that become andrew's girlfriend when she only know him for 3 days?.
hahas so who is the cheap one?? :)
and PLEASE, GET THIS INTO YOUR PEA BRAIN !!!!
MADELEINE TEOW MEI FANG WILL NEVER BE INTERESTED WITH HIS FAMILY'S WEALTH WHEN HER'S IS SO MUCH MORE !!!
and girl, i guess you are the one over his money. since you said lawerence has much more to give, why arent you with him?, cause he has NO CAR? haha =)
what a materialistic typical GIRL.
and so nice eh?. paige and madeleine FORCE you to return money??
haha come on, stop trying to sow discord. its not WORKING.
so what if you manage to get madeleine out?, she deserve something better, BITCH.
OH MAN, you said you treasure the friendship?
come on, dont try to act pity, no one will believe you. if you treasure you wouldnt be so scheming. :) and your friendship MEANS NOTHING TO US.
fancy be so thick skin saying that madeleine is your sister? come on.
when we didnt even admit we are her bestie., who are you to admit that?
wake up from all your DUMB FACTS.
stop all YOUR DUMB ACTIONS.
and your discount doesnt means anything to madeleine alright?
and please get that stupid pea brain of your's to be in order before you try to sow any discords.
BITCH.

2007-02-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

whatever.
im sick and tired of trying to argue
you all will nv listen to my words.
immune to my feeling
what a nice parent i have,
i have to pay for my own school fees?
what a nice joke can !!!
what the fuck.
and you,
have the cheek to say that i didnt ask if you have money
wth.
all you all care is MONEY,
and please i didnt give you all attitude.
by the way, you all dont deserve my respect can?
i hate you all
simply hate
i feel like crying but not sad.
im just very angry.
angry and disappointed and ashame,
YES, ASHAME.
i dont want all your explanations.
cause to you all, what ever you all do is correct,
and IM WRONG.
kor said he wants to move out,
cont treating me this way
and i'll GO with him.
without me, you all will be happier isnt it?
i dislike YOU ALL, especially YOU.

2007-02-21T00:14:00.000+08:00

okay. woke up at twelve today,
watched dvd,
was supposed to go to jie jie's house, but it was cancelled at the end,
so went out with ji hui
went to city hall
getting that guess wallet tmr.
after city hall, we went to queensway
wanting to find my shoe, 'adidas ss2g'
but the shops were closed
so went back to yishun
binpei and brenda came to find us at northpoint mac.
and now home sweet home =)

why am i getting so long to let go?
like someone said, cause the best of things are the things that you cant get?
but i dont feel so.
i feel that cause ive did so much things for him and he didnt give me a proper reason for the breakup.
thats why im holding on.
do i really have to talk to him? to clear things?
im not afraid of talking to anyone, but im just afraid to face him.
sometimes i would rather remain here in silence then let go eventually.

he isnt the best among the rest,
but because of an unanswered breakup,
the past drags on.
clearly i know,
who treats me best, yet i know i hurt him so.
he was the first guy that ever cried for me,
he was the first that done so much for me
yet just because of my stubborness and fickle minded,
we parted.
then friends we were not.
cause you said, being friends brought back too much memories and you couldnt let go,
then i know, ive hurt you so.
never did i once go back to you,
not because i dont want. but because im waiting for an answer,
im not worth your love.
only when the answers came,
then my heart will be dead for him.

okay. nonsense im typing.
-what will be, shall be.-
-regretting is of no use.-

2007-02-20T04:16:00.000+08:00

NEW YEAR'S EVE !!!